Beard Growth

I have a beard. 

Having a beard has taught me things about myself.

Having a beard, has required me to be confident in myself.

I've learned to do what makes myself happy.

Even if others think it's weird.

I have a beard.

Ask the Right Question

Something I've thought many times about the gospel and life in general is the importance of questions. Recently, I've been *shock* re-evaluating my life and asking myself some questions. Whenever I start asking the Lord questions based on what I decide, I find that at least some of my questions aren't going to get answered. Often, it's not because he doesn't have anything to say about what I'm trying to figure out, but because I haven't asked the right questions.

It always amuses me to then think of the movie I Robot. The detective in the movie has a holographic program that helps guide him towards the questions that will solve what is going on.

The one thing that frequently is said by this program is "my responses are limited, you must ask the right questions." I feel like frequently, what the Lord gives us is limited, not by his ability to answer, but by his desire to help us grow and use our agency effectively. So whenever I get frustrated like Detective Spooner does, with the lack of answers, I remember that it'll be for my good. Then I usually find that if I do ask the right questions, the way opens up and I can see what I need to do next.

So, just to fill you in on the questions in my life:

HOW to get into grad school?

WHEN to try to get into grad school?

and one that I always try to make sure is answered with a yes:

Am I doing everything God wants me to do?

I find that my life is happy right now, and having been asking and seeking answers to those questions has been very helpful. I love my current job, and it's not where I think I'll be for a career, but I certainly am thankful for that blessing, as well as friends, roommates, and family to help me when I feel lost.

I'll be what I am...

Life status update: Life is slowly working it's way out. I'm feeling more productive. it's great.

Other news: Went down to the Utah summer games for frisbee, and eventually started rocking it. We actually beat one of the byu club teams with basically just our little group of friends.  By the end of 7 games in two days though, my legs where pretty shot, and sunburned, in fact I'm still peeling 12 days later. 

The following weekend was the end of orem city league ultimate.  There we were beating another team while being down a man with no subs. Then in a tragedy of tragedies, Hyrum came down and was injured, we dragged him off the field, kept winning for a bit longer, then finally they wised up and just kept a defender deep and we lost.  Later at the urgent care we found out what I had already suspected after further examining Hyrum's foot, it was broken.

The working at home is pretty nice, it'd be a little nicer to have the second shift a little earlier, but it's not bad. It pays the bills, and motivates me to keep pursuing other options, especially grad school.

Finally, this is such a great song, and just to say stargate is pretty great too

until then I'll be what I am.

Brightness

It occurred to me today during church, why certain descriptions are what they are. I mean, feet as burnished brass, fire, lightning, etc.  What other bright sources of light were there in ancient times, the sun? It only makes sense to describe something incredibly bright in those terms.  Joseph Smith's ability to describe what he saw isn't significantly better in describing how incredibly bright the glory of heavenly being is. It seems like it's basically unimaginable how bright it is.  Just a thought anyway.

Chilling with my Peeps

This whole being graduated thing is interesting. Although, I'd seriously like to have a better idea of what I'm going to be doing in my future, I'm going to have to say I'm enjoying the new stage in life, mostly.

I've had plenty of time to spend working on personal stuff, hanging out with friends, and doing mostly what I want to do.  But, having spent many of the nights this week hanging out with my friends who are either married, or engaged, I have to say, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in this stage, and actually, it'd be nice if this stage ended sooner rather than later.  Side note, it was great to hang out with all my buddies that I don't get to see very often. I've been able to have some great friends over the years.

Just because I can, I have to say, that I got to play with my nephews today, they're pretty much the greatest little boys on the face of the planet.  I told Max it was nap time, and the 1 year old walked up the stairs, shut the door behind me after I followed him into his room, and then looked at me and asked to be picked up, after I put him in his crib and tucked him in, the little boy gave me the nod, like yeah, I'm good. SO cute, and so funny.  And his older brother is just as cute and funny.

One other big topic on the stage of life things that seems to be a consensus from my friends, it's dang hard to meet people. I try, but I think I'm at my wits end. So far doing what I do doesn't tend to yield many prospects. So, any suggestions would be at least useful.

:)

So, after having stake conference with Elder Ballard and Elder Worthen, I feel spiritually renewed, and this talk by the mission president of my mission that came in just after I left, it just seemed like a good thing to share for anyone anywhere.

http://devotional.byuh.edu/script/thy-confidence-shall-wax-strong-presence-god

I'll post more later

Running the Numbers

Just throwing out some numbers I was looking at a little while ago, something to do with how much US cell phone companies are obviously colluding and riping off customers.

Cost of Cell phone tower = ~ $300,000
Number of simultaneous users per tower = ~ 2000
High for expected user tower usage= 15%
Tower can then hold 16000 subscribers
Tower operating costs $30,000/year
average costs collected from subscribers a tower can hold= $9.6 million or $9,600,000 in revenue
or even if tower only has as many subscribers as max users $1.2 million in revenue
Case of Verizon
Revenue from wireless ~11.1 BILLION
among ~80 MILLION customers
total company operating costs 3.4 billion (out of 94 in revenue)
enough to buy 19,000 new towers a year after subtracting operating costs and overhead
area covered by a tower at minimum expected range  (2 mi ) is enough to cover 3% of the US a year whereas at the expected distances of rural areas, it is enough to cover the entire nation with signal in a year.

These numbers may be rough, and maybe there are some errors, but add in the fact that other countries pay 1/5 what we do for cell service, something sure smells fishy.

Why? ... okay, Why? ... really, Why?

A recent conversation with a friend triggered something in my head. Part of what makes me who I am, is that I am incessantly asking the question "why?"  I'm like that little kid that every time you give them an answer they ask why again.  I think I only give the courtesy of reprieve because I'm processing the answers I get, and at least some acknowledgement of how annoying being asked why over and over again is.  But ultimately, along every line of questions I come to a question that just can't be answered.  At least not yet

Much like one of my favorite videos asking: "What are birds?"


Of course, we just don't know.

In any case, I'll get all my answers eventually, I keep looking, I keep trying, I keep working at it.  I just need to remember why I'm doing it.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year,

I'm not the sentimental type, but last year was good, hopefully this year will work it's way out.  Also, I'm trying to come up with a good way of referencing 2011, I'm thinking elevensies, kind of like what they say in Lord of the Rings.  I know it won't catch on, but sounds fun.

This just had to be posted

http://artofmanliness.com/2010/12/09/5-lessons-rugby-taught-me-about-fatherhood/

Good stuff, good night.

Sports Aptitude Diagnosis, SAD

After playing some basketball with some friends today and being utterly unable to make anything further than 5-10 ft away.  I decided to re-evaluate the athletic abilities in order from best to worst.

1. Ultimate Frisbee
2. Touch Rugby
3. Soccer
4. Football
5. Racquetball
6. Volleyball
7. Aussie Rules Football
8. Basketball
9. Tennis
10. Bowling
11. Golf
12. Cricket
Pretty much after this point, I'm completely relying on basic athletic skill, and have no reasonable experience or familiarity with the sports, or in some instances, lack a necessary skill (ie skating) in order to be able to participate in these sports.

So that's pretty much it, if it's on that list, I'll probably play, if it's not, I probably will still play, but don't expect much of me.

Manliness

It was a good thanksgiving break. I got quite a bit done of things I needed to do, but I also got some good time in with my family.  Mostly, the time I spent with them was good, there wasn't actually a lot of it.  But amongst every, I was reminded somewhere amongst all the taking care of things around the house in Provo, and being ready for the storm, that my Dad really did teach me a lot of manly skills.  I'm really grateful for it, because they've helped me out on numerous occasions. But there is more to being manly than just handy man skills, there is a great website called The Art of Manliness that often has information all types of this stuff.  This recent post reminded me of something else I saw while I was at home.  The poem the Man in the Glass:

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world crowns you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and take a look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn't your Father or Mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.


Some people might think you're a straight-shooting chum
And call you a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear to the end
And you've passed your most dangerous test, if the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool all the world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
but your final reward will be heartache and tears
if you've cheated the man in the glass.

-Unknown

I can still almost recite that poem.  It was first shown to me by my brother who was given it from the track coach. A coach I later had myself.  While that coach may not have been the most stellar example of all gospel principles, he certainly gave a good example in a lot of aspects of life.  A bunch of great talks on charity today, taught me how much good there is to look for and see in other people. I hope to develop more of the attributes of manliness I see in those around me, and I also hope to be an example to those around me.  Although, for now, I feel like I pass the test, I've always done my best, and though if I could I would make different decisions, I've always made the best decisions I could with the understanding and experience I've had at the time.

Ultimately, though, this is the true manliness I aspire to, and the man in the glass I want to see is Jesus Christ:
 Moroni 7:48
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.

But for now, I'll have to be content with what I have, because as Paul talks about comparing now to that time that we will meet the saviour:
 1 Corinthians 13:12
 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

?

I'm not sure why I'm up, I've been doing better-ish about sleeping normal hours.  I've gotten a lot done, I'm keeping up with my goals, and needs.  At least, my chart tracking them says so, there is a lot of uncertainty in the future, and I'll be flat out busy to some degree for the rest of the year, but I'm okay with that.  I just feel like I'm missing something, and I'm not sure what or why.  Unfortunately, I don't like unanswered questions.

The other football

Today, I went and watched the BYU women's rugby game.  It was interesting to watch to say the least.  It's funny cause it's the same rules as men's rugby, but it plays quite a bit differently.  Almost like how men's and women's soccer turn out quite different.  It's still definitely a great sport no matter who is playing it.

Then we got a bunch of people together to play some pre-thanksgiving football.  It was fun, although it just reinforces to me why rugby is so much more fun.  In football, you run and run and run, and usually have no influence on the play.  It all depends on the quarterback to throw you the ball, while in rugby, at least touch rugby, you get to be as involved in the play as you put the effort in for.  It turns into some great fun.  Sadly, it's hard to get people to play, and admittedly it's frustrating for the first bit of learning, but mostly just because you haven't grown up with it in most cases.

Unfortunately, waking up early, and a few other late nights, resulted in me being basically asleep the rest of the afternoon, and missing out on some friend's things. :(

In other news, I'm getting old, and it definitely takes more effort to stay in shape, and recovery is slightly more painful.  The good news is that I"m still in good cardio shape. 55 bpm heart rate even still.

Life is good, and I'm looking forward to slowly sharing with people the glory of rugby.

Top Ten

As much as I love the other topics... (except for zucchini bread, not that good )

The top ten things I'm thankful for sounds like a good idea.

10.  Fire and guns
9.  Modern conveniences
8.  Outdoors
7.  Athletics
6.  knowledge and intelligence
5.  My friends
4.  My trials
3.  The education I have
2.  The gospel
1.  My family, all of them

maybe I'll do a funnier one sometime.  Cause, there a lot of funny things I'm thankful for.

Topics?

I'm feeling like it's time for a blog post, but honestly, I'm not sure what to post about.  I'll accept whatever topic is proposed that I find the most interesting.

Those Boys

I got to spend a good part of the afternoon playing with my wonderful nephews.  They're so much fun.  I'm always a little sad when I leave.  We spent a good amount of time chasing each other, and hiding, and getting each other like dinosaurs and running around.  The older brother was so cute playing with his 9 month old brother.  And the 9 month old LOVED playing with his brother and chasing him around as much as he can while crawling.  At one point he was biting him.  So much fun.  I just love those little boys SO much.

Not to wax philosophical all the time, but it reminds me of something that I was thinking about a week or two ago, that and waxing philosophical is what I do.  I was up at my grandpa's farm doing some concrete work, and I couldn't sleep.  There's been so much stress in my life lately, it's not all that unbelievable.  But somewhere in my ponderings of my failings, and my struggles, and repenting of my weaknesses, I caught a glimpse, only the faintest glimpse, of what our Heavenly Father feels for all of us.  I'm somehow a sweet little boy to Him. It was really overwhelming to be honest.  It also really helped to renew me.  Although, I'm not sure what's going to happen with all the plans I have in life, and things should hopefully begin to unfold soon on some fronts.  I know what I'm really looking for, and it's worth more than anything the world can offer.

The Greenwashing Revolution

As many of you now know, we're currently in the middle of the so-called green revolution.  I say so-called, because I believe that it is dubious to say that any of the current methods of most greenies are even close to effective.  Rant at me if you will, but for the most part, it is optimistic hooplah on unproven and so far incapable technologies and systems.

A clear example of this in my mind is the mighty Prius.  Almost the symbol of this revolution with it's .29 drag coefficient that is so bragged about, compared to... what...a .30 drag coefficient, hardly worth mentioning.  But that's the least of my concerns.  The real concern lies at the heart of that little machine.  The battery.  That Prius is totally incapable of being mass produced for less that it currently costs.  In fact, it and any other electric vehicle will increase in price if produced for the general consumer.  Why?  the materials that are available for these purposes are in fixed supply, a very fixed supply, and increasing demand is only going to make prices double/triple/quadruple.  It's basic economics. If you think technological increases are going to save it, you are mistaken, 96% of the costs of these batteries is in said rare raw materials. 

Besides, the only advantages of the technology are regenerative braking (helps in stop in go traffic) ability to turn off when idle, and high efficiency at low rpm (ie starting moving) of electric motors)  Steady state on the freeway, you're just driving a normal car buddy.

Just go buy a turbo-diesel and get better mileage anyway.

Follow this up with what currently is my second favorite mockery of the intelligence of the human race.  The Windturbine.  Sure it's cheap easy electricity...but your as much at it's mercy as 16th century sailors were to the doldrums.  So you've got a 1.21 gigawatts of capacity, that is generating... let's see 0 Watts. What a great way to step into the 21st century, by jumping back 4 centuries...
 I get's worse, most of what is "generated" by wind turbines isn't actually used anyway, because they never power down the base-load station just because the wind picked up a couple mph's.  Seriously, I think wind can have a big effect on our energy security, but not for generating electricity on demand for the grid.  Not unless a sufficiently good storage technology comes along...and, oh wait most high tech batteries are out (if you don't understand why, you should probably just stop reading and start over again).  Lead-acid batteries, although not ideal, could do at least part of the trick, but ironically are not "green" enough.

Which brings me to my last thought, who chooses to spend money on this stuff anyway... oh yeah politicians, who really have no business making these decisions.  Or alternatively self-interested and clever scientists who are more interested in preserving their jobs through government funding than doing actual work to benefit society.

My Solution:
Jeremy for President 2030

Scratch that, Jeremy-- Dictator-for-Life...whenever I get around to it. ;)

In all honesty, I don't care for the tea-party movement or a lot that junk, but I sincerely think the world needs help, environmentally, morally, socially, economically, pretty much all around the board.  Unfortunately, too many people are content to check out and let things go on because they don't know any better.  Don't be those people.

A good succinct version of what I looked through the data myself for:
http://www.renewableenergyworld.com/rea/news/article/2010/09/alice-in-evland-six-impossible-things?cmpid=rss

The wind stuff... I'll get around to posting stuff that I looked up on that sometime, if you come up with some good info let me know, I'd be happy to see it.

Star Wars vs. Star Trek

Various things on my mind lately resulted in this.

A brief synopsis of the train of thought is this.

Lots to do, need to focus
Translate-Stay on Target
which leads to this:



after following the mental equivalent of a pretzel, led to this:



Is it nerdy?
Yes
Is it ridiculous that a train of thought of focus led to this?
Yes
Do I regret any of it?
Absolutely not
:)

Uncovering the Book of the Left

Tomorrow is regional conference and I'm quite excited for it.  Unfortunately, leadership meeting is about 4 hours from now and I've only moderately slept.  oh well, such is my life.

The amusing thing is I decided to look through my old missionary notes from meetings in order to sort of mentally prepare myself.  I really could have been doing better with my gospel studies considering the free time I have.  There are a lot of really good things in those notes.  It made me happy to read them.  But the funniest thing is on the last page I have a whole bunch of what looks like a kindergartner's handwriting of the alphabet.

It is:

The Book of the Left

I hadn't really forgotten I'd done this, but it was really funny to see.  It was when one very boring P-day with nothing to do out in the middle of nowhere's nowhere.  I practiced writing with my left hand.  It was interesting as an understatement and left me with a headache worse than the first time I learned calculus or quantum mechanics.  I did ultimately do it a few more times I think in my daily planners.  All things considered, it isn't that bad of handwriting... at least in comparison to my dominate hand.

Odd I know, but then... it's me so what would you expect